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“ Changing Women’s Lives, One Woman At A Time.”

Dothan Circle City Chapter

 

Attitude Determines Your Altitude

By Marshawn Evans, JD

Excerpted from S.K.I.R.T.S.* in the Boardroom:

A Woman’s Survival to Success in Business and Life

3rd Quarter 2009

 

 What is the first thing you notice about a woman? Is it her hair? Her shoes? Her purse? Nope. Maybe her confidence? Close. It’s her attitude. Attitude is the first thing others will notice, and the last thing others will remember.

In fact, your attitude (whether you realize it or not) is your trademark. Long gone are the days of being a bubbly blonde or beautiful brunette as the key to standing out. Getting noticed (and being taken seriously) is about what substance and per-spective you have to offer, and what bottom-line value you can add to your company or your customers.

Class FactorTM: The Four Dynamics of Attitude

Your attitude is the product of four elements: How you THINK, how you SPEAK, how you ACT, and the way in which you RESPOND. The sum total of those four elements is called your Class Factor™.

Class Factor Number One: Think Your thinking (like your confidence) is mag-netic. What you think determines what you attract — good or bad. In business, thinking that you can win a deal or close a client is 80 percent of the bat-tle, maybe even 90 percent. If you walk in the door with an optimistic outlook, you increase the odds of positive outcomes.

Class Factor Number Two: Speak I truly believe that there is power in what you say. If you say to yourself, “I can close this deal. I

can ace this interview. I can face my boss,” then you’ve infinitely increased your odds of success. Your success will start with what you say. Someone is always listening. Consider your words an invitation for others to believe in and invest in you.

Class Factor Number Three: Act People might hear what you say, but they will remember you for what you do. How you carry yourself is a significant component of your attitude. I believe that much of my success is due in large part to my demeanor — especially for someone under the age of 30. I carry myself with confidence and class. I underpromise and overdeliver. I work to exceed expectations. That’s my trademark. For now, it is important to understand that the old adage is true: Actions do speak louder than words. Your words might get you in the door, but your actions will keep you there. Class Factor Number Four: Respond In business, we cannot control most of what happens to us. Successful companies and successful women are defined by how they react and respond to adversity and pressure. You will be evaluated not by the problems you face, but by how you face them. The key is to think before you respond.

 

Here are four tips:

· First, appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. This is the basis for having an optimistic approach to life.

 

· Second, treat others with respect. Use this as the basis for all your communication and interactions with others.

 

· Third, focus on what you think, not what you feel.

· Support your viewpoints with solid rationales, not emotion-driven opinions.

 

· Fourth, deliver in a way that creates collective buy-in. Remember, when giving a gift, the packaging is just as important as the present.

· Think of your attitude as the package.

 

An Attitude Makeover If you’ve been feeling less than positive these days, or if how other people react to you reflects back on some latent negativity that’s been brewing, it could be time for an Attitude Makeover.

Following are some attitude enhancement tips that will help you advance your career or your business through the power of a positive attitude.

Tip Number One: Remember It’s Not About You Having a self-serving approach to life causes you to be impatient and arrogant and it doesn’t help you reach your goals.

The more you adhere to an approach of giving, serving, helping, and assisting others, the more people will want to assist you in return. Without fail, every time I do something positive for some-one else, I receive two to three times more benefit in return favors from that person.

When you help others, it shows your character.

Wouldn’t you rather do business with someone with good character and a giving heart? When you meet someone, your first question should be “How can I help you?” not “How can you help me?”

Tip Number Two: Smile A smile is infectious. It immediately breaks the ice. When balanced with a strong and confident demeanor, a smile can be your strongest, most disarming weapon.

The key thing to remember is that a smile always adds warmth. It is a bridge that connects you to others and draws others to you.

Tip Number Three: Be Optimistic A positive attitude is a choice that will attract positive opportunity to you. Speak optimistically about opportunities. Be a visionary. See the future, not the past. Helen Keller, a woman who certainly had plenty to grumble about in her life, once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” See the door of opportunity and open it with a smile!

Tip Number Four: Choose Battles Wisely

In order to embrace tip number four, you must go back to tip number one — remember that it is not all about you. I was at a meeting with a client’s at-torney the other day. I’m an attorney, but I was not representing the client in that capacity. I was han-dling the client’s public relations on a very serious matter. While we were collectively reviewing a press release, my client’s attorney referred to me as the client’s “assistant.” For whatever reason, I was insulted.

After all, I went to law school — a more prestig-ious one than the law school the other attorney had attended, at that! Because I was a woman, he just assumed that I was an assistant. It irked me! But I didn’t react out of my frustration. I chose to let it go. I could have corrected him, but I probably would have come off as arrogant.

You see, you have to ask yourself what’s impor-tant. What objectives are accomplished by you put-ting someone else in their place? Sometimes it is necessary. I have never been afraid of a good showdown, but usually it’s not necessary. Our egos can be deceiving. They make us think we’re in the right even when we’re really in the wrong.

Tip Number Five: Dress the Part How we dress is an external manifestation of our attitude. When you walk into a meeting look-ing like a class act, with a smile on your face, and intelligence to boot, then you’ve just garnered all of the attention in the room. A positive attitude will show in how you carry yourself. So walk with opti-mism. Image matters.

Tip Number Six: Care

Be concerned about what happens around you. You should care about your work, your image and others.

Expressing what you think and feel is how you show your value. When you care about an out-come, you cause others to have confidence in you. Show your interest in your clients and work.

Tip Number Seven: Problem Solve

One of the greatest ways you can add value to your company is to look for solutions and offer so-lutions. Always be forward thinking and try to cir-cumvent problems before they arise. Doing so will make you the go-to person that others can rely on for positive results and answers.

Tip Number Eight: Associate Wisely You’ll never truly push yourself to be your best unless you surround yourself with other people who are motivated. Not everybody will understand your vision, dreams, and potential. If they don’t get it, just move on. Don’t get left behind because others are simply behind the curve.

People are human. They make mistakes. They will misjudge you and underestimate you (yet another fact of life). If you allow those people to shape you, then we have a problem. Those

people should never influence your perception of your potential.

Tip Number Nine: Accept Yourself I’ve embraced my intelligence, which has taken me to another level in my personal and professional life. I emphasize this because I think that as women we constantly go through stages where we doubt our-selves, despite our successes, even, and especially, as we advance in our careers and new opportunities present new challenges in uncharted waters.

Don’t be afraid to be smart. Accept that you are a force with which to reckoned.

Tip Number Ten: Show Respect

When you respect others, others respect you. This principle alone will enable you to advance in your career. If people respect you, they will grow to trust you. Require that men respect you. In order to do so, you have to respect yourself. You do that by acting with respect and integrity. Give careful thought and attention to what you say and how you say it.

When you start relationships by setting expecta-tions, you create a dynamic of mutual respect. Speak up to get respect. State what you want and what you expect. Carry yourself with confidence, class, integ-rity, and compassion. It’s that simple.

Tip Number Eleven: Appreciate Much of what we think we have would cease to exist if we learned to appreciate what we actually have. Furthermore, in business, appreciate the little things that your clients and customers do, and do not take people or opportunity for granted.

If your client calls you back, thank them for getting back to you. Believe me, not everyone returns phone calls. If your employee delivers a pro-ject on time, praise and support them for their efforts and their work. That will continue to motive them to perform with excellence.

 

Tip Number Twelve: Envy Not One of the biggest challenges that we have as women is working together without jealousy. When I was on the television show The Apprentice, Donald Trump divided our teams into men versus women. The women’s team consistently lost. The only week that we won a task as an all-women’s team was the week that I was project manager.

We lost every other task. The men’s team, on the other hand, kept winning. They had an excellent, supportive team dynamic. Eventually, the women lost so many team members to boardroom firings that Mr. Trump had to send a few men to play on our team. That was embarrassing! The team kept losing because the women wouldn’t get along. It seemed to me that they were jealous and bickering over things that did not really matter.

Envy and jealousy will always break up a team, and it will impact your ability to focus on what really matters most. As women, we should support each other.

Whenever you feel the urge to envy, remember to appreciate what you have. It will actually give you a professional advantage because you remain focused and undistracted by things you cannot control.

Aptitude for Attitude

Know yourself and respect yourself enough to embrace a more positive and optimistic attitude. Know what works; avoid what doesn’t. I know as well as anybody that it takes time, patience, and “a quiet conscience” to create a stronger, more positive attitude. But I always reply, “Look, you’ve lived your life for 30, 40, or 50 years doubting yourself, worrying over nothing, and borrowing trouble. Where has it gotten you? What do you have to lose by spending the next 30, 40, or 50 years doing the exact opposite and being positive and optimistic?” If I do say so myself, it’s a pretty valid argument.

The best part about creating a positive attitude is that how you spend the rest of your years is entirely up to you!

Marshawn Evans, JD, is an entertainment attorney and founder of Marshawn Evans Unlimited, a corporate life-enrichment consulting firm. A former Miss America finalist, Marshawn was also one of the stars of Season Four of NBC’s hit show “The Apprentice” with Donald Trump.

Reprinted by permission of the publisher, John Wiley and Sons, Inc., from S.K.I.R.T.S. in the Boardroom: A Woman’s Survival Guide to Success in Business and Life by Marshawn Evans, J.D. Copyright ©2008 by Marshawn Evans. All rights reserved.

*S.K.I.R.T.S. is an acronym that stands for women embracing the qualities of Sisterhood, Knowledge, Integrity, Respect, Tenacity and Substance

 

 

January 2009